"If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, i KNOW i can achieve it"
There have been many emotional up's and down's these past few weeks. Koda got a new baby sister Gracelyn on June 16 and she has been so great for him. He loves her so much, he always wants to help with everything from getting her diapers to holding her bottle for her. Everytime he sees her he ooh's and aah's. He is the greatest big brother in the world!
Koda made counts for clinic last weds june 7. So in we went, with gracelyn in tow. Koda recieved cyclophosphamide which was pumped through an IV through his port for an hour. He recieved Cytarabine and also had a spinal tap and methotrexate in his spine. He also started Thioguanine which is a pill form of chemo he takes at home for 2 weeks.
Koda was left accessed and Sam and I were taught how to give koda his chemo. We gave him his cytarabine and a nausea medicine through his port that thursday friday and saturday. Home care came and deaccessed him on saturday. At first i did not want any part of putting this nasty stuff into his body but then thinking about it i realized that this nasty stuff is saving his life and keeping our sweet little koda here with us. Koda did really good with letting us do this, he just sat on the couch and would watch movies!
I took koda to clinic again today, June 14 where they reaccessed him and gave him nausea medicine and his first dose of Cytarabine and left him accessed again. Sam and i will be doing his chemo again until saturday. His wonderful Dr. Bruggers is amazing she said koda has done so well through this whole process. She is very positive and helps us stay that way! She told me that Koda's counts will only continue to drop for the next 3 plus weeks and that we need to be extremely careful and watchful of him, especially with his immunity. His counts from today were Red blood cells: 25,000 (they were considering keeping us for transfusions, they do them between 20,000-25,000, but they are having a blood draw on monday where we are 99% positive to go in for blood since his counts are only going to drop) Platelets: 93,000 ANC: 600
We are surely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now, koda has these four days of chemo and another week of his chemo pill and then after a short break he will start the Maintenance phase! I honestly cannot believe that we made it. I remember in January thinking that we would never get here, i couldn't emotionally do it. But i know that the Lord only gives you trials that he knows you have the strength to endure. Don't get me wrong, i have my almost daily break downs, watching koda not have energy to do anything but lay on the couch and watch movies, feeling his smooth bald head, seeing his eyelashes fall out. It's heartbreaking but i know it could be worse, we are lucky and endlessly blessed, we have the most amazing people in our lives that do endless things for koda and people we don't even know who have been so giving. Thanks to everyone we hope to one day pay it forward! Koda is so loved and we appreciate everyone!
*Koda at only two and a half has learned how to swallow a pill! Amazing Kid
*Before Gracelyn was born, i was holding koda and he said 'angel' and i asked him where the angel was and koda pointed by our fireplace and said 'right there' i asked him who the angel was and he said 'prophet'
*Koda pointed at his port and said 'port, chemo' it is truly sad that at his age he knows what chemo is.
