4 hours!

Yes! I am so proud of myself for making time to do this again!

Koda and i started our journey out to primary children's this morning at 8:30 and there was so much stinkin traffic! We didn't get there until 9:15 ish... Koda was so brave today getting his pokie, but the nurse accessing him couldn't get the needle to go in for some odd reason, he said it felt like he was only hitting metal (the port has a soft middle and metal outsides) so the nurse was worried that the port had flipped over, meaning that koda would have to get surgery and get the port replaced, ugh...i was panicking, he already has a monster scar! The nurse re-gloved and got a new needle and gave it another shot and this time had sucsess! It's always so horrifying when things like this come up and i wonder to myself, what more does this child seriously have to go through? Anyway, they drew his blood and his counts came back just where they wanted them!   WBC:2.1, HCT:37, PLT:275, ANC:1.3 and he now weighs 35 pounds!

His chemo wasn't ready when it was time for us to head down to the RTU at 11 so they told us to come back up after his spinal tap. They were a little behind down in the RTU so we just played and i met another incredible cancer mom, Erin and her son Kace who also has leukemia! Koda kept complaining and saying that he was so tired and just wanted to take his "little nap" (sedation) so needless to say it took him a while to wake up from the anesthesia today. He woke up and asked for apple juice, string cheese, and a slushy! He got all three and was a joyful boy, poor thing coulnd't eat until after is spinal tap/spinal chemo. Back up to clinic after that and koda got his vincristine chemo and played with Kace a little and we were off! I had to drag him outta there, he was so mad to have to leave! A huge thank you to primary children's for making it such an enjoyable place for these sweet kids! Today was the longest we have been at the hospital since the delayed instensification days... a little over 4 hours today! Not too bad though!

 Koda trying to wake up after his spinal tap and spinal chemo

Koda and Kace... This is the ONLY one that turned out somewhat after 10 attempts on my camera!

I saw this quote on my friend, Becca's, blog and wanted to share it , it has so much meaning in my life! Thanks Becca!

"BLESSINGS
I asked for a miracle,
I got one.
It wasn't what i asked for,
But it was exactly
WHAT I NEEDED."

Koda is such a tender hearted little boy, it causes me grief on the days that i look at him and think "cancer", seriously? How can such a little body have CANCER? But i think it has humbled me immensley, this child has been through so much yet he is such a happy, loving child! I want to be a tougher person because of him! I know that he is going through this for a reason, i have no doubt about it, I know my father in heaven places certain trials in our lives for our own refinement and to make us who he wants us to be and for us to learn the things he wants us to learn, maybe it was for me? Maybe it was WHAT I NEEDED as said in that quote above...I can't wait until the day that i can find out the meaning of this trial in my sweet baby's life! He is going to be such a strong, empathetic person because of this! I love him! I need to also say that i KNOW things with koda COULD be so much worse than they are, i want to express my gratefulness to my father in heaven for the blessings that have been poured down upon koda and gracie and I, Koda is doing exceptionally well with the trials he has been given and i am so grateful!

Life is like a box of chocolates....

I could say that i have a million reasons why i have not updated this since october but there really isn't a good enough reason. I got sent home early from work today and so i am taking advantage of that and getting things done, i haven't had a real break in time like this since atleast november sometime, enjoying it!

A little update and by little, i mean very little... Sam and i just recently got divorced, he moved out in november and decided that this was what was best for the family, it has been and is continually heart wrenching for me to say the least, and i started working at a local medical billing office about a month ago! I am trying to stay positive despite the trials that have been placed in my life, I know that if i stay faithful and do what is right that i will be blessed, i know the Lord will take care of my kids and I!

Now onto the more important things... the kiddos!!!!

 Koda and I at the make a wish christmas party last december! We got the opportunity to ride on the train at Heber valley railroad!

                                                   The sweetest things on christmas eve

 Our surprise visit to grandma "oh say" and grandpa "strength" in Fresno, CA in January, it was a much needed amazing break! My family is THE greatest!

 Cancer cuties play date at wheeler farm this month! Blast!

 Easter egg coloring

Gracie checking out everyone's baskets! mmm

That is just a teeny tiny update on what we have been up to the past few months. When i got back on this blog site for the first time in months today my heart just hurt looking at the picture of Koda when he was opening his make a wish box, he looks so happy, i am fighting back the tears as i type this, nope now they are a-flowin.....i just want him to be so happy and i know he is but he has been handed so stinkin much to deal with in his short three years, that look on his face, i want to achieve that every day!

Koda has been doing very well with his chemo, he still has some odd reactions to the chemo some times and gets nauseous quite often but besides that, looking at him, you would never know the things he has been through and is going through! I feel so blessed every day that i am surrounded by the presence of these two amazing, smart, strong children in my life! They have taught me so much about strength, forgiveness, unconditional love and perserverance... i honestly can say that i am a better person for being able to be their mom!