In the fight to win!

There is nothing better in the WORLD than being this kid's mom....

There is no way that i could ever go through what he goes through, he is amazing and i wish he could understand my words when i tell him that. In his two years of life he has been through more pain and confusion than i have in 24 years.... he is the person i look up to every day. He never judges, he always forgives me for my shortfalls as a mom, he is perfect! He is my angel.

Home care came on tuesday and his counts were   Red blood cells:37,800   Platelets:308,000    ANC:800  so he barely made counts to be able to do his chemo. We went in on weds and it went fine he played and enjoyed himself... just not so fine now, i can't stand seeing koda have to go through this...i have the hardest time. They upped the dose of his methotrexate 50% again and it just does not affect him well. I wish he could explain to me how he felt so i could help him in some way. He acts so frustrated and he just doesn't know what he wants at all... i know he is in pain and it is killing me, i want this over with... He has 2 more times of going in that they will up his dose another 50% each time. Next time he also has a spinal tap, yuck. We have been fighting this battle 3 months and 4 days now.... we can do anything!

What God hath promised
By Annie Johnson Flint

God hath not promised
skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways
all our lives through;
God hath not promised
sun without rain,
joy without sorrow,
peace without pain.

But God hath promised
strength for the day,
rest for the labor,
light for the way,
grace for the trials,
help from above,
unfailing sympathy,
undying love.